On finding clarity on what really matters
The pivotal moments in my life have always come out of the blue.
The time I was threatened with a broken bottle at 3am in Covent Garden.
The time I came home from university to discover my Mum had a life threatening cancer.
The time I realised I had to leave the flat I thought I was going to be in for years, because of a nasty incident with a flatmate.
But it hasn’t all been doom and gloom.
There was the time I walked into a room, saw a complete stranger and thought, where did YOU come from? And why do I seem to know you already?
Or the time I walked into a coaching event and thought, I’m going to do that, because even though I don’t really know what ‘that’ is, I know it’s my calling.
Or the time I woke up to the fact that we are not walking through a physical world, but a spiritual one.
All of them a single, tiny moment. All a seismic change in thought.
And there have been many, many more.
I’ve had a smaller one of those moments this week, lifting up a box and suddenly losing the ability to move without pain.
All of the plans spinning through my mind for the day – vanished. All those apparently urgent things that needed to be done, not done.
We live in a world of thought, and thought is very fluid.
And you know what, it turns out I didn’t need to do half of those things that were spinning around my head. Turns out most of it was nonsense.
I’ve realised ‘doing your back in’ is like a micro version of being told you have a life threatening illness. Suddenly all the unnecessary thoughts you ever had are swept away in a single moment, and all you’re left with is what really matters. Which turns out, is not that much.
Not that much, apart from the things that give you a beautiful feeling. Like spending time with people that you love. And doing only the things that you love. Not much in quantity, but of infinite depth in quality.
When I’ve had those ‘out of the blue’ moments, there’s a spaciousness and clarity of thought like no other. All the daily detritus of life is swept away and there’s an energy and focus and love for the important things that comes surging through.
But the beautiful part of all this is you only ever need to do the things that you love. You don’t need to be semi-crippled from back pain to see that and to live like that. Because that energy and clarity that comes surging through is ALWAYS THERE. It’s not an anomaly. It’s your most natural state.
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